Waiting for You
by The Lotus Black
Summary: It doesn’t matter why you left me. It doesn’t even matter where you are. I know, somewhere out there, you’re missing me. And, I’m still here waiting for you. ShadowXSilver


This was originally a songfic I wrote a year ago. I took out the song part and fixed it up a bit. It's really depressing, though. Just a fair warning.

Oh, for those of you that read DoP, some of this was stolen and placed in the Alternate Ending. COUGHsecondparagraphCOUGH

**Waiting for You  
****Shadow's PoV**

My vision blurred quickly, smudging the colors of the room together. I tightly shut my eyes, tears leaking from the sadness that imprisoned my heart. This didn't have to happen. It didn't have to come to this. I was not a machine. I was not a weapon. My heart was not a toy. It was not his fault. I dropped to my knees and the tears stained the floor. I was angry with myself. I was mad at his beauty. I was furious at that which enthralled me to do such horrid acts. I had loved him. No, I still do. My spirit aches for his lust, for his touch, and for his embrace. For his loving fingers that caressed once held mine with such divine happiness. My hand is cold now, covered with the memories that we created. Our dreams of desire had been shattered with the coming of my poor decisions. I do not blame him, but rather myself, for being selfish. I protected him from everything except me. I was selfish for wanting him to love me and only me. I apologize for this, my love.

I sit in this room after all that has happened. The tragedy that has swallowed me cannot rip my memories away. Nothing can rid my mind of your pure and flawless face. It has been burned into my thoughts. My recollections of you remain strong, and they always will, until the day you return to me. Our intimate fantasies are fresh in my mind, and I can't help but chuckle at your once naïve, sexual needs. You were so precious to me – The light in my dark world. The hope that filled the crevices of my mind. And, the person to breathe life into my rotting soul. Everything I am now is what you have made me.

I didn't know how to thank him. He brought me happiness and love, something I've never witnessed before. In response, all I could do was return this emotion in my own way. I've never had this type of relationship before, and mistreated him. Fear and pleasure evoked him whenever I was around. I would caress him with verbal adoration, bent on striking the terror from him. I never wanted to see you in such a state. Your pleading eyes used to be enough to shatter me with guilt. I was inexperienced and you didn't want that.

So you left me. The rain that day mixed with my tears, and I could do nothing but cry. This empty feeling you left me with crushed my heart. It destroyed every bit of emotion within me. No words can mend this eternal feeling bestowed to me because of you. I do not blame you, but you should have told me. Speak to me of the pain you felt. I could love you in no other way, but I would've let you go to protect you. I cared for you more than anything. I realized this too late.

I knew my love for you was real when a disaster came upon you. I remember everything. I was waiting for his return; he promises a mere twenty-minute trip. It had been two hours since his departure and I was worried to the point where I was going to trace his steps. The phone rang before I was able to purge an explanation from my jumbled thoughts. The ringing sound gave 

me a feeling of dread. A feeling deep down told me to leave the machine unanswered, but my curiosity won in the end.

They spoke to me of everything. The condition you were in was horrible. You were hospitalized and unstable. They believed you to be dead. I convinced them to be patient, and you held out.

Alive once again in my arms, I took you home. To the place with so many unfinished memories and forgotten moments. Your warmth and weak smile was all I needed to know you'd be safe. A modern vehicle was not enough to keep your spirit down. And, you proved this to me. I never had an opportunity to express my worry for you – You bolted back outside as if nothing ever happened.

I can't tell if he feels the same as I do. I care for him. I live with him. I do everything for him. I'd die for him… No, don't think about that. Death isn't the answer. He's still alive. As long as he lives, I'll be here for him, waiting.

I don't know how long I'll be able to last. At first, this unfamiliar emotion struck me as strange, alien almost. I didn't like it, and wouldn't accept the fact that you adored me as such. You're a male. I'm a male. My mind couldn't comprehend it then. It couldn't understand how much I needed this. What is it? Your touch, your embrace, your love? Every single time you touched me, my heart went wild with desire. I didn't know why then. I just couldn't understand. Or, was it that I didn't want to take the time to think about it? Yes. I was too afraid of being outcast because of my sexuality. And, I had her.

When I was young, Amy Rose was my love interest. She loved me for who I was and didn't cringe at my violent behavior. She cared for me. Gave me a place to stay. Fixed dinner for me every night. She even told Sonic off just to get closer to me. I loved her for her beauty, for her gentle nature, and for her tasty meals. Though she was gorgeous inside and out, she was nothing compared to you.

She was brave, and faced my violence. You calmed it. She cared for me. I loved you so much I cared for you. She gave me a roof over my head. I bought you a house. She stood up to her own fears. You chased away mine. She spent her extra money on clothes and accessories. You saved yours for when we'd be adopting a child. She loved her job. You loved the hot tub. She loved reading. You wanted me to read to you. She loved snow. I taught you what it was. She adored kittens. You adored the frustrated way I scolded the computer. She was on me in the blink of an eye whenever Sonic was around. You were on me all the time. She focused on me and Sonic. You noticed nobody but us. She hated the rain. We danced in it. She nagged. You listened.

I could point out so many differences that put you far ahead of her. Not saying I never loved her. I did. But, you seemed like such a better person. We were naturally attracted to each other, even if I didn't want to admit it at first.

You could've had better than me. You could've chosen someone who would be there for you no matter what happened in your life. Someone that could do the things I couldn't. Someone who could care for you how you wanted. But, you chose me. You were the one that spilled out your heart. I pushed you away at first. I was appalled. I said you were disgusting. Eventually I began to pull you closer. You and I both knew what was happening.

The peak of our relationship was the best time of my life. We would sneak outside every other night, rain or not. We would stand under that beautiful tree. You loved it so much. I told you that it reminded me of you. We shared our first kiss there, and many after. Your lips were so tender. I can still remember the way they felt. I can still remember the way they tasted. I can still remember the way you were breathless.

They burned down our tree. They destroyed the symbol of our love. I hated them. They took you from me. I feel tears running down my face as I recall your death.

There we were: on the park bench at night. Someone had told about our love. I was a government agent. It wasn't allowed. I was to be focused on my job and nothing else. I was designed as a killing machine. That's why I was violent toward you. Do you understand? I never meant to hurt you. Can you hear me? All I can remember is the wailing of sirens and gunshots cutting through the cold air. I reacted by grabbing you in a hug, my back toward the attackers to protect you. They pulled me back, pointing a gun to my head. The next thing I knew…you were gone. A pool of blood was gathering around you. You fell limp into the grass. I broke free and took you in my arms. The hardest part was the feeling of your warm body turning cold.

I couldn't take it anymore. You had been another victim to them. Just like Maria. I wanted no more. I did away with them. And, once we were alone, I took you into my arms once more. I sobbed your name. You didn't answer. I called out again. It was silly. There I was, crying your name even though I knew you weren't coming back. I guess I thought you might make it again. I guess I thought you might survive.

I buried you and came back here. It's been days since I've seen your grave. It's been days since I've seen your face.

Sometimes I feel your presence. I feel this cold aura gather around me. But, something within it tells me it's you. Sometimes I hear your voice. You sing to me as you once did when we were together. _Hush little baby, don't you cry._ Take me away, siren. Take me with you.

No. I'll come to you. I love you and I'll prove it.

Remember, Silver? On my birthday you bought me this pistol. Nine millimeter. Nothing special. You tied a red satin bow around it and placed it in a box. I know I have a collection of these, but this one was special. This one still had your scent on it. It was the thing you gave to me. And, it'll be the thing that'll bring you back.

I need you. I am emotionally unstable. Amy? No, I could never go back to her. I can never be with anyone. You. You and I were meant to be. A thread of fate ties our souls together. I've seen it before, tied around our pinkies as we touch. It glows a bright red color. It glows with passion and desire. It's broken now. My life feels empty. There is nothing in this world that can fill the gaping hole in my heart. Nothing but your return.

I'm being foolish. You'll never come back. You're dead! They killed you! I sat there and watched it! I did nothing to help you! This is all my fault! I pounded my fist against the wall, furious at myself. I let you die. I deserve this punishment.

No!

I can't do it! Life without you is meaningless.

I'm pathetic. Here I sit on the bathroom floor, mourning you. I could be out there protecting the world from a fate such as yours. So, maybe someone out there going through this can be saved. Maybe he'll be spared. If I could save just one person then I would've fulfilled my wish to both you and Maria.

But, how many people have I saved? None. I've only brought more destruction upon this pathetic planet. I don't deserve to live in it. I look down at the gun you gave me. It's beautiful. Just like you. I can't forget. I can't go on. I can't save them. And they can't save me.

I know you're going to be upset about what I'm going to do. I apologize. I don't know what else to do. I've been waiting. I've been crying. I've been cursing myself. What do I need to do to get you back? I know you're out there somewhere. I know you still love me.

Give me a chance.

Just one chance to prove to you that I can change.

For the better. For you. I'm not fine. I'm not okay knowing you hate me the way I am now. I want to change.

I'm taking the first step forward to make that change.

Silver? Can you see me from here?

I'm coming for you.

Wait for me.

_BANG_

**End**

Shadow and Co. belong to SEGA/Sonic Team.


End file.
